Random Moment Diary: Mz. Jazzmine

Wow. I haven’t written one of these in quite some time. You’d almost think random moments in NYC ceased to exist. WRONG! I was just too busy been totally taken afoot that I couldn’t bare to set pen to paper. Oh no. I will not let you down this time. So heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere we go.

First Gay Bar in Brooklyn

So, if you are familiar with this famous Brooklyn establishment or have seen it at some point during your Brooklyn travels, then bare witness to my block. Yes, for all of my ten readers, this is my block of residence. Star-Lite is famous for being the first official Gay Bar in Brooklyn; established sometime in the 1960’s. That is the setting.

I’m walking home late at night, exactly the opposite of what my mother would like for me to do. I’d say the time is around 3 something in the morning. I, in my trendy ash grey peacoat, march directly past each of the sketchy activities that occur on every block: winos, drug deals, rats, garbage, rats, a random 5-year old with uncombed hair, and another lonely rat that was too fat to keep up. That list of abnormal normalities does not stir me one bit. In fact, they are as much a part of my life as obese people are to the McDonald’s corporation.

Anyhoo, I come up to my block and this is where the real story begins. Now mind you, this interaction starts while I am crossing the street. I know someone will question why this dialogue is so long. That is the answer. The rest of the story goes as follows:

EXT. Star-Lite Lounge – Late Night

DON crosses a bare-ass empty street, against the little orange hand’s best advice. A group comprised of two MEN and one DRAG QUEEN (man) stand outside the entrance for a quick smoke. The drag queen has on a flaming red gown complete with a red ankle length peacoat with flamingo feathers at the hems. The drag queen also dons a blonde Lil Kim wig that slumps to the crest of her back.

Don tries to keep to himself. No need to disturb the local partygoers. The drag queen takes quick notice as Don skids across the street in the most smoothless fashion.

Drag Queen: (To Don) Well hey there Mr. Little Man. You look like a cute little chocolate raisin. (I kid you not)
Don: Well, thank you kindly.
Drag Queen: Why don’t you come inside for a few drinks with yo cute little self. (I still kid you not)
Don: (Being kind) No thank you. I must get home.

The Drag Queen hands her cigarette to her cronies and approaches Don. She is pretty big. Not fat, but like Wesley Snipes in To Wong Foo big. Don has no choice but to stop. Drag Queen offers out her hand. Don shakes it.

Drag Queen: My name is Mz. Jazzmine. (I use Z’s because that’s how she enuciated)
Don: (Trying to keep it moving) Good to meet you. I’m Don.
Mz. Jazzmine: You need to come on in here, Don. I don’t bite…too hard. (She smiles)
Don: I’m sure it’s lovely in there but I must get home.
Mz. Jazzmine: And where do you live?
Don: (Walking off) Uhhh, I’m in the area.
Mz. Jazzmine: Well bring yo ass on in here sometime. With yo little ass. You gonna have to taste this sweetness. (Still not kidding)
Don: Thank you. Maybe some other time.
Mz. Jazzmine: I’m performing next Friday, baby. Swing by.
Don: Goodnight Mz. Jazzmine.
Mz. Jazzmine: Next week right?
Don: (waving back) Maybe.
Mz. Jazzmine: You have a good night Mr. Don. Sleep well.

Don is about half a block down the street at this point and waves back to her. They go back to their smoking and conversations. I get home and pass out. Another random NYC experience. Good day folks.

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One comment

  1. Liligi · March 15, 2010

    LOL! Why did you entertain that?? It coulda just ended on “Thanks, but iont roll dat’a wayz.” You knew I was gonna read this didn’t you? Tryina brighten up my day. Aww!

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